Your kids grow way more than you know!!
It was the first day of school of my 4-year old. He has finished his nursery and is now in junior KG. I went to drop him at school. He usually is more excited and happy on the first day of school. Perhaps, because of the wrong notions that we feed into his mind. This time it was the presence of a small pool for kids in the school. Prior to the commencing of the school, when I was prepping him for it, I had told him that he would love his new school and that there is a pool where teachers will take him. He loves playing in the water and hence, this just did the trick. He didn’t cry a tad on his first day, and second, and third day. By that time, the fancy of the pool had ceased and now he started becoming grumpy and didn’t want to go to school. It then took almost 20 more days for him to go to school without complaining.
Moving back again to Day 1. We were to leave the kids just inside the gate. From there onward, the teachers guided them. His class was on the second floor. He slowly but steadily climbed the first set of stairs and started to move towards a class, when a teacher asked him to go to the next floor. Again, he climbed the stairs and then started moving towards the class along with other students.
Once he reached outside his class, he stood waiting outside the class, where teachers were sorting out the division in which each child belonged. He was probably standing there idly. I was not able to see him. And then he moved back towards the banister and looked downwards. Of course, he was not able to see me among the sea of parents standing there. But it felt so good to see him standing there patiently and trying to deal with whatever it was, all alone. A few seconds later, the teacher probably called his name and he went inside the class. That was it.
There’s nothing significant about this incident, perhaps not something worth writing. But that day, a few images just clicked in my mind. Darsh (that’s what we named him) climbing the stairs slowly. Darsh moving to the second set of stairs as directed by the teacher. Darsh looking down from the second floor and trying to find me or maybe not (who knows what goes on in a kid’s mind). Darsh going into the class when his name was called. We, as parents just can’t imagine the capacity and strength of our little ones sometimes. That day I saw that he was able to take and follow instructions even when his Mamma was not around. He was sad about leaving alone but didn’t show it or cry. He was a brave little boy. You just don’t know when your kids grow up. One day, you are holding them and they need you for every little thing. The next that you know is they are traversing the day-to-day life alone and so well too.
Very recently, I came across a sentence that felt so true. Babies and children are more resilient than new parents realize. It's so true (Eww, repetition, but no other words can describe that perfectly). In reality, I am not an over-fussing mother. I like my son to learn things on his own and interfere and help only when he asks. But sometimes, you just can’t avoid being you. Children love to explore their worlds themselves. They love to experiment too. All kids are different and their tendencies, affinity, and behavior are too. But, one thing is common. They will try to do things on their own and cry or seek help only when they can’t. Once you start helping even before he tries, you are teaching him that behavior, to simply depend on you for every little thing. And trust me, soon you’ll be scolding a teenager who doesn’t do a thing and wants you to do everything for him/ her. But wait, didn’t you just teach him that as a baby?
Oh boy! Now I am going to sound a bit preachy but bear with me. The first five years are when the entire behavior and character of your child takes place, especially his/ her habits. Please make your kids as independent and self-sustaining as possible. You will never regret that. I try to follow this and fail many times too. But that’s parenting, right! You can never be absolutely right or wrong. You learn as you raise your little one. I’ve got to stop using the term little one. My four-year-old likes to say, “Mamma, have to hu moto thai gayo.” (Mamma, I’ve grown up now.) So, I try to treat him like one.
